Monday, October 29, 2007

Tintin in Korea

Tintin and Snowy were boarding a Korean Airlines flight to attend a regular session of the International Press Institute (IPI), as observers. Resting his head on the back of the seat with half- closed eyes, Tintin was thinking of Chang who was also flying to Korea from China to participate in the same forum. ‘I’m going to meet you soon’ he mumbled to himself with a big smile and his heart throbbing with great expectation. At the same time, Snowy was sitting in the corner of the cargo shivering with fear of imagining Koreans who eat dog.


At 5; 00 pm,
Tintin heard a knock at the front door,
“Sir here’s a message for you.” The tall and handsome uniformed bellboy said when he opened the door.
“Thank you.” Tintin shortly replied and opened the envelope-‘Welcome to Korea. How’s Snowy?’-
‘Umm it must be Chang’ he smiled.
Snowy still looked feel uneasy and refused to eat. “Come on Snowy, here’s your favorite meal” patting Snowy on the back Tintin whispered.
-Tin tin, you know, I reckon that I might die here- Snowy sighed faintly and closed heavily his eyes. “You look so tired.” “Be strong my old fellow.” Tintin said inspiringly


At 7pm,
Chang visited to Tintin.
“Wow! Chang!” “Tintin”! They tightly embraced each other.
“How are you Tintin?”
“How are you Chang?”
“We haven't seen each other for ages.”
-Wooah Wooah- -Hi chang- Snowy waged his tail intensely walking around them.
“Oh, hi Snowy,” Chang said delightfully, “you are still looking good.”
“You are really lucky guy, Snowy. Aren’t you?”
“What a nice sweet room! Chang said softly glancing around room.
“It’s especially for guests with pets.” Tintin said slowly. “Actually, Snowy costs me a lot.” “Ha,ha,ha,”
-What? That’s human- Snowy barked few times. -I absolutely didn’t want to visit Korea but you insisted that I come!-
“Let’s have a dinner.” Tintin said. “We can go upstairs, there is a good restaurant with fantastic night views.”
-Please, don’t eat any strange food. - Snowy sighed again quietly and turned around.
Live music in the restaurant put Tintin and Chang in a good mood.
While Tintin and Chang were enjoying their meal, three people (one looked like a European the rest of them were Korean) sitting opposite side their table kept taking sidelong glances at Tintin.
Then, European looked at his wristwatch and spoke in hushed tones.
“Be quick without any mistake.” “Got it?”
Then two of the men left their seats quietly.
“Okay, shall we move to the sky lounge to have a drink?” Tintin said after he and Chang finished the dinner
“Sounds good”.




“Cheers!”
“Cheers!”
“I’m really glad to be here.”
“Me too”
Both of them were quiet for a while as they recalled their past in Hukou.
Chang, by the way, what are those? Tintin broke the silence as he looked down at the neon signs Umm… Oxford, Harvard, Cambridge… oh, Yale over there”
“Those could be private English schools like in China” Chang said firmly.
” “Have you read the article? Chang continually and eagerly spoke to Tintin
“Well, middle class Koreans are spending up to 40% of their disposable incomes on English tuition.”
“Really?” Tintin seemed to be surprised.
“And the problem is, private language schools employ anyone who has blue eyes and fair hair,”
“What?” “It doesn’t make sense”
“So, even criminals, prostitutes and drug users could teach English here, as long as they forge the certificate.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve read the Korean Times.”
‘Umm… it’s unbelievable.” Tintin said doubtfully. “Anyway what time is it now?”


At 9:00 pm.
Meanwhile, sitting on the carpet in front of the window, Snowy merely looked down at the street. He got up and started to growl angrily when he spotted an advertisement for a picturesque dog’s farm with a luxurious restaurant. Then, Snowy heard something strange sounds. He pricked up his ears and carefully crept close to the main door.

“Bang!” All at once, Snowy was knocked down.
“Here’s a rubbish bin.”
“Be quiet!”
“Move! Move! Quick”
“Ueaps! Blood!”
“Shit,!”
“Move! Quick!”
Two men, wearing cleaner’s uniforms, hid quickly as Tintin and Chang got out of the elevator.
“Hey, Snowy” Tintin and Chang looked around the room searching for Snowy.
“Where are you?” Tintin whistled.
Tintin! Chang yelled “There’s some blood here.”
“Where?”
“Oh my goodness.”
“What’s happened to Snowy?.”
“Mmm.. let me think for a second.”
“Let’s call my Korean friend, he is a journalist, we need his help.”
Chang hurriedly picked up the phone.
“Wait! Please wait a moment.” Tintin said urgently. “Chang give me a second please.”
Tintin sat on the couch folded his hands in his lap and closed his eyes for a while.
Suddenly, he got up and asked to Chang. “Did you send this message to me this afternoon?”
“What’s this?”
“No, absolutely not.” Chang said anxiously looking over the message.
“Chang.”Tintin said determinedly. “I need your Korean friend.”
“No problem, Tintin.”


At 11:00pm,
Snowy had a splitting headache as he recovered from unconsciousness.
“Where am l?”
Snowy tried to lift up his head and have a look around
He could see some spots of blood on his forelegs and realized that he was a wearing collar which was connected to a leash that tied to a pillar
“What’s wrong?”
“Where is Tintin and Chang?
“Keep an eye on Snowy.”
“Why don’t you kill snowy?”
“Shut up!”
“You gonna sell Snowy aren’t you?”
“Watch the dog!”
“Shit!”
“I’ll call Tintin right now.”
Two men quarrelled beside Snowy while Snowy pretend to still be unconscious.
Sometimes later, Snowy opened his eyes and caught them nodding. He thought to himself “It’s good chance to escape”
Snowy quietly wriggled his forelegs to loosen managed to get it off. Then, he crawled carefully without making any noise and eventually, successfully got away.
However, Snowy didn’t know where he was.
He was exhausted and drifted off to sleep. In the meantime, Chang’s friend arrived at the hotel.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Tintin and thank you for coming.”
“Hello I’m Kim and I’m sorry to here what has happened Tintin, but don’t worry we’ll find snowy soon.”
“Thanks Kim.”
“Take a seat please.” At that moment, the phone rang.
Tintin grapped the phone.
“Hello, hello”
But the line went death.
“Kim, it needs to be advertised in the newspaper ASAP.” Tintin said seriously showing a picture of a man.
“Who is he?” Kim asked.
“He is a terrorist who seemed to have already got information about me.”
“What?” Chang claimed and said “let me see the picture……Mmm…looks familiar.” Chang scrutinized the picture for a while. “Oh! Tintin, this looks like that guy I saw just before.”
“Where?”
“In the restaurant”
Tintin hovered around the phone, keep thinking of his mission which was to find out the terrorist’s location. The phone rang again.
“I’ll get it” Kim said hastily.
Kim spoke in Korean language on the phone for a while.
“What did they say?” Chang asked, after Kim hung up the phone.
“Did you write something nasty about our culture of eating dog?”
“Umm… yes I once wrote about Asian’s food culture: eating dog in Korean, whale in Japanese and monkey in Chinese respectively to the ‘New Era’ which is a popular periodical in the world.” Tintin said helplessly.
“It’s revenge. They are threatening you to sell snowy to a restaurant.”
“But, Tintin, we don’t eat pet dogs.” Kim tried to explain.
“Yeah, I admit that we eat dog but a certain breed of dogs, not like snowy.”
“Anyhow, I think, someone has kidnapped Snowy to take my attention away from finding the terrorist.” Tintin said suspiciously. Meanwhile elsewhere in the city.
“Wow, look at the white dog over there!”
“Where?”
“Mom the dog seems to be hurt.”
“Please don’t touch it.”
“Are you okay?” The little girl looked at snowy carefully and said gently “open your eyes.”
“Oh, he’s still breathing! He’s Alive!”
“Oh, poor thing! The woman said sadly.
“Mom, we should take the dog home.”
“Well, okay then, but we should find its owner.”
“Mom, shall we talk to the police?”
“Honey, it’s better to call to the radio station.” “They can broadcast the details.” “Anyway, what happened to this dog?”
“Who’s its owner?” her mom murmured.
Early the next morning around 6:00am.
“Yes sir, I’ll do it right now.”
The terrorist was wearing black gloves and sunglasses after finishing the cell-phone call, He walked towards 63 building, the tallest building in Korea.

At the same time, Tintin got a phone call from Kim .He said that he had got information about the terrorists from readers and that the photo was of his English teacher at a private language school. He had taught the reader until last week in an evening class, which was located in 63 building.
“Shit, Snowy was tricked.” Tintin and Chang got dressed in hurry and ran to the highest building. Meanwhile, Kim also drove to the building.
“What are you going to do?” Kim asked. “Tintin I think it’s better to tell the police.”
“No, if the terrorist notices that we have found his location, he will destroy this building earlier than in his original plan.” Tintin said.
Chang you keep an eye on this exit and Kim, you just pretend to be a plumber and this….
Tin tin looked at the blueprint of 63 building as he told Kim what to do.

On the 39th Floor.
The terrorist entered the toilet and tapped to find a ventilation shaft. Tintin watched him from the surveillance screens on the ground floor ‘Okay, we’ve got him’
Five minutes later on the 39th floor
Kim saw the Tintin give him the ok sign.
Kim opening the door and talked to him
“I ah~ umm speak English not” Kim tried to explain he had to fix this toilet using gestures with few English words in order to let him get out.
Tin tin was hiding behind the door waiting for the terrorist
Tin tin heard the door open, and hit the man over head with a stick knocking him out.
‘Bang!!!’


At 8:00 am,
Kim said Snowy had been found and now he was at a vet’s.
Tintin exclaimed. “Oh! Thank goodness!”
On the way to the vet’s clinic, Tintin explained his mission: 63 building where the IPU meeting was to be held was targeted during the forum period. So the terrorist disguised himself as an English teacher to explore the building structure in advance. “It was piece of cake for him.” Kim said calmly. “Snowy!” Tintin yelled with tearing coming to his eyes as he hugged Snowy.
-Tin tin, where were you- Snowy was staring at Tintin for a while and slowly wagged his tail silently saying -please never write anything about different cultures again.-



Two weeks later, Tintin and Snowy were boarding a Korean airlines flight. Resting his head on the back of the seat with half -closed eyes, he’s thinking of cultural differences and Booming English study in the Asia region with a bitter smile, whereas, Snowy was sitting in the corner of cargo hold thinking about a little girl who saved his life with a big smile.





















7 comments:

kiseki said...

Hi Grace :)
I've just finished reading your fanfiction and I've to say that those pictures you posted are really nice. They help me to understand the story better and make the story interesting to follow. When I wrote my fanfic, I also wondered if I should draw pictures myself because I can't find many pictures which match my story. But my drawing is not good and I was afraid they'll confuse readers instead hehe.

Your plot is clearly written and easy to understand with the indication of time that you put throughout the story. There are many conversations which make it not boring to read (personally I like stories with dialogs more than mere descriptive texts, except really good ones).

The story moves quite fast (I understand that it's because we've to write about 1,200 words) but sometimes it's a bit confused. For example, at the beginning, 5 pm, Tintin already arrived in Korea and checked in at a hotel but the previous paragraph he was still on the plane, so at first I was slightly confused when you said 'a knock at the front door'.

Also this part: “Okay, shall we move to the sky lounge to have a drink?” Tintin said after he and Chang finished the dinner
“Sounds good”.
“Cheers!”
“Cheers!”
As far as I understand, they moved to the sky lounge, right? But because the dialog continues since when they were in the restaurant and moved to the sky lounge without other explanation, I'm not sure if they were still in the restaurant or not. Maybe you can make a space (I mean press enter to create one more line but I don't know how to say it correctly) after the last sentence they spoke in the restaurant so it's easier to understand that the characters move to another place or the scene has changed.

One last thing is the tenses you used. You begin the story with present tense, like "Tintin and Snowy are boarding in Korean airlines to attend a regular session of the International Press Institute (IPI), as an observer." and the next paragraph is in past tense: "Tintin heard a knock at the front door". It gave me the feeling that this 'at 5:oo pm' story happened before he boarded the plane. After reading a bit further, I realised it happened after the first paragraph.

I wondered if you wanted to use the tenses to help you tell the story but I noticed a sentence in the first paragraph that you use two tenses in the same sentence: "‘I’m going to meet you soon’ he mumbled to himself with a big smile and his heart is little bit throbbing with great expectation." So I thought maybe you forgot and decided to write it here.

This one in the second paragraph also: "‘Umm it must be Chang’ he smiled.
Snowy still looks feels uneasy and refuses to eat."

The last paragraph of your fanfiction is back in present tense too but I'm not sure if you mean to make it like that because maybe you want readers to feel like it's the present time. (so I wrote it here, just in case you didn't mean to then you'll know where to edit it)

The last one at 7 pm "Please, don’t eat something strange meal. - Snowy sighed again quietly and turned around." and this one at 9 pm "Then, Snowy heard something strange sounds.". I'm not too sure about it but I think they should be 'something strange' or 'some strange meal (or sounds)', perhaps you want to check those out too.

Sorry, don't hate me :'( I really like those pictures and the easy-to-read story-telling style with not many descriptive words (because Tintin is from comic and I personally feel it shouldn't be very complicated when it's turned into a text so children can read it easily too). I pointed out those things here so maybe you take them to improve your fanfiction and make it the best you can before the due date. If there's any part you don't agree with me, just ignore my comment :) Maybe it's my English problem haha.

AW said...

What a adventure! I am so impressed by your lovely drawing. That gives you fan fiction more visual effects. I wish I could do that too.

Culture diversity is one of Auckland's features. Your fan fiction is really mindful. We are all learning to live in the multi - culture environment. I think respect and a kind heart helps a lot.

By the way, Chinese eat dogs too. Chinese believe the dog meat provides lots emergy. Eating dog meat can keep the body warm in the cold winter.

AW said...

Hi Grace,
Just a few minor things, I've written down my suggestion too.

with half closed eyes - with eyes half closed
Korean who eats dog - who eat dog (as Korean is a collective noun)
We’ve seen each other for ages - We have not seen
Let’s we have a dinner. - Let's have
don’t eat something strange meal - don't eat something strange.
While Tintin and Chang enjoyed their meal - While Tintin and Chang were enjoying their meal (while clauses usually use present continuous tense (be + Verb+ing)

I hope this helps a little bit.

Pear Jin said...

*smacks Jean* haha, you're such a grammar nazi!!

Grace,

I HEART your drawings. They are all soo soooo cute. ^^

It is an interesting read and I found it so awfully cute that Snowy is so superly intelligent.

Then again, I must admit that the story did move quite fast..and the changing of scenes did not transit as smoothly as it should be?

But, I am sure, if given a broader word limit, you are able to put in some more details and that would make this fiction easier to understand for the readers. :D

GraceMin said...

Thank you so~~~~ much.
Peer feedback is really good. Isn’t it?
Jean, AW and another jin I appreciate that all you guy’s advice on my Tintin.

I was aiming for my audience’s age ranging from 10 to 20.
So I was trying to choose simple language as well as simple sentence structure. However, I realized that I should have to be careful about the constructing a sentence; sentence structure and grammar.
Also I admit that I couldn’t organize my Tintin too.
If there’s one more chance to create fanfiction, I’d like to more concentrate on those thins that I made mistaks in Tintin and write about romantic story.

Now, we can be relaxed as we finish all assignments.
I hope that you guys have a nice holiday and have much fun.
You deserve it!!!

LingHuiE said...

Hello! Grace:

I just finish reading your fanfiction. Umm, as same as Jean said, I really like your lovely picture, too. It makes your story looks vivid. The beautiful scenes appear in my mind while I am reading. It is easier and helpful for us to understand. And I also like your description which is also good. I admire that you used lots of appropriate vocabularies to design different characters’ conversation. Good work! Grace. I like it so much.


But may I give you some suggestions? I am really not to offend. Actually your structure is clear to identify. Especially the time indication is very good, for example, 2pm or 6am. I would like to read in this way. But I think that you may add some more contents to your story, such as Tintin’s anxiety of Snowy. Yeah, He thinks about how to save Tintin for a short while. What did he think? What was his solution? If Tintin was quite easily to worry about something, he wouldn’t be viewed as an adventurer. He has lots of experiences to face to the dangerous situation, hasn’t he?


I am doing a final essay about the Graphic novel “The adventure of Tintin’s story: Blue Lotus.” I started to like this story very much. In Blue Lotus, the author also portrays the background information of Shanghai city in 1931. So we know what social background of China was? China definitely was controlled by Japan and some European countries. For example, Japanese attackers used the drug to murder Chinese. So it really helpful to readers to experience the background information and different characters of the whole story. It made all of the readers to get into such a simulated environment; they would have an immersed sense. I think that you can talk something more about cultural differences between Korean and European countries? Or Booming English study?


For you, you talked about Korean people would like to eat dog’s meat. Tintin used to publish an article to criticize Koreans with this. So Snowy was kidnapped by some dangerous guys. They may wan to retaliate against Tintin. Yeah. That’s a good clue I think. But TinTin loves adventurous life. It is better to design something more about those dangerous guys. What’s their association? Which dangerous thing did they do? They may have another big conspiracy. It is a good chance to test our hero: TinTin, right? I am not quite sure about who is the mentor in your story? Chang or Kim? I think that if Kim is the mentor, he should direct Tintin how to save Snowy. But he seems to do everything for Tintin. Anyway, you decide by yourself. These are points are my person issues.

Grace, please don’t hate me. I am a little bit crazy about writing a story. I know that I have so much to learn in the future. I definitely not a good writer. It is my pleasure that you gave me some good and useful comments. It encouraged me a lot. Welcome to give me any opinion, I will accept it and read it carefully, because you are a polite person. Umm, all of these above points are only my personal suggestions. You know that I like this story too. So I would like to creative something more about TinTin? Again, I am not to offend.


Another point is that I am not good at marking at grammar mistakes. Actually I think that we should pay more attentions to the structure and content to the story, right?

Finally, Grace, wish you will have a good break. Thanks for your work.

shelley said...

Hi Grace,
I like your pictures so^^^^^^^^^^ much!!!!! I didn’t know the pictures were your person products. I copied them and collected them. Sorry about that.
I don’t like caricature, because the pictures are hardly to follow. But I like yours. You picture helps me to understand the fan-fiction, and post pictures separately helps the fan-fiction easier to follow.
I noticed that your fan-fiction has many conversations, I wrote many conversations too. Personally, I think conversation, it is the easiest way to explain the story and express the characters emotions. And your use sample words to describe your fan-fiction, I like the way.
Lastly, I would like to say it again; I like your pictures very much!